DISTINCTIONS ARE EVERYWHERE
i saw kitty coming, up the driveway then he disappeared. he was coming up the curve on the hill. the driveway was behind my view of the quilt.
i called him to come to me. he seemed interested, heading up the driveway then appeared to disappear behind the quilt. i continued to call him waiting to see his head come out the other side of the quilt. it did not. i called louder. “where could he be?”, i thought. “how could he just disappear? this is an illusion.” i was annoyed. “did i see him or did i not see him?” i counseled, aggravating myself further… i continued yelling, “kitty where are you”. no kitty appeared.
i looked for his tail backing out. i looked for his head heading out from behind that quilt. i couldn’t see any cat at all. “how could this be?”, i queried silently to myself.
suddenly the wind blew the little coverlet, there came kitty in full speed toward me. he had been coming toward me all the time, except he had changed course, instead of coming up-the-driveway, he heard my call and came right toward me through the grass, downhill and a faster, straighter route. the whole time i was yelling he was on his way with little furry feet stepping in my definite direction. its only that something was in the way of seeing the movement!
i think lots of times good, headed our way, seems to disappear, when instead its changed direction to a different route than what was expected. i can’t see it because i am looking in the wrong place.
when i haven’t waited long enough for the thing to take root, it looks like a failed project… like my lavender. the first year i put lavender in, i had no idea it took three years, to get a hold. i had no idea the cold climate zone i live in, sometimes predicts lavender doesn’t make it. when i heard the lavender-doesn’t-make-it news i surrendered. the next year lavender reappeared anyway, stronger than ever. this year it is doing quite well! sometimes i care too much, to allow something to happen, in its own time.
another way i can’t see good coming to me, is when i throw away what looks like “it-isn’t that”.
gardens are good teachers. each year i said, “ i love bergamont. i’ll put in this excellent perennial for butterflies, tea, and for me to enjoy piggyback flowers”. i got some bee balm, which is another name for bergamont at a farm. i planted it, but the next year i didn’t see it come back anywhere. what happened? in early spring, if you are not wise enough to recognize it, it appears weed-like. i ripped it out thinking it was an obstruction. this year as i was ready to grab and rip it out, i heard a small voice telling me to let it be. it said, “leave this be, you’ll see what it is later when it flowers”. the voice was distinct. i didn’t even remember putting bergamont in that spot. i noticed how shraggy and weed-like the leaves looked. i smelled the leaves. they had a faint mint but not citrus fragrance. i thought “these could be bergamont. i will listen to my hunch”. i let them be. three weeks later the wine color blossom on top told me it was true. the bee balm bergamont is blossoming, flourishing because i listened and let it be! it is excellent to learn about myself in nature. we are after all, the nature of life itself, and not apart from it!
don’t give up on good until it arrives, know that it will.
don’t throw out what has promise, give it time to show its blossom, it will.
